Eating Disorders
There are different types of eating disorders: Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge Eating Disorder and Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (EDNOS).
Here are 8 signs and symptoms of eating disorders that may have caused you concern for a friend...
How to support a friend
Start a conversation with them.
Think about the language you use. We’d suggest that you try not to say things like “why don’t you just eat?” This will only make your friend feel like you don’t understand how they are feeling, making them feel more isolated. Also, try not to make comments about your friend’s body or shape, or give the eating disorder too much attention. Your friend and the eating disorder are separable. Don’t ignore your friend, but try not to give the disorder too much attention.
Mealtimes can be particularly difficult.
We don’t recommend that friends help with meals; this is an incredibly hard task and one that would be likely to put a lot of stress on any friendship. We know though that a lot of housemates find it difficult to live with someone with an eating disorder and so we have put together some thoughts on how to deal with meal time:
Here are 8 signs and symptoms of eating disorders that may have caused you concern for a friend...
- Avoiding social situations that involve food / taking to eating alone or in secret / disruptions to ‘normal’ eating times.
- Mood swings, depression, fatigue, irritability, insomnia.
- Measuring self-worth based on weight: ‘good’ for not eating, ‘bad’ for giving in to eating. Pre-occupied thoughts of food, weight and cooking.
- Difficulty concentrating.
- Nervous or indecisive around meal times, especially if the eating place is particularly obvious, such as a canteen or hall dining area.
- Very aware of other peoples’ eating habits / weight / diets.
- Compulsive exercise.
How to support a friend
Start a conversation with them.
Think about the language you use. We’d suggest that you try not to say things like “why don’t you just eat?” This will only make your friend feel like you don’t understand how they are feeling, making them feel more isolated. Also, try not to make comments about your friend’s body or shape, or give the eating disorder too much attention. Your friend and the eating disorder are separable. Don’t ignore your friend, but try not to give the disorder too much attention.
Mealtimes can be particularly difficult.
We don’t recommend that friends help with meals; this is an incredibly hard task and one that would be likely to put a lot of stress on any friendship. We know though that a lot of housemates find it difficult to live with someone with an eating disorder and so we have put together some thoughts on how to deal with meal time:
- Have a conversation: Find time away from meal times to talk to your housemate and ask if there is anything you can do to make mealtimes easier.
- If the meal time is stressful for you, it is also stressful for your friend. If you can, do your best to stay calm during the mealtime.
- Keep conversations flowing: People like to be distracted from thinking about what they are eating. You can be a great help by simply chatting away about anything else going on in life! It may be helpful to listen to the radio, watch TV or play board games during meals.
- Some people find that it helps to cook and eat together: We’d suggest that housemates lay down some ground rules – you don’t want to be in a position where you are changing what you would normally eat. You could simply cook similar meals.
- Don’t overly congratulate your friend for eating: There is likely going to be an ongoing argument in your friend’s mind about whether eating is a good thing or a bad thing – adding value statements such as praise or criticism really only adds fuel to this fire
- It’s rude to stare: Where possible, avoid paying too much attention to what your friend is eating. No one likes to be watched and we certainly don’t like to be judged. Change will happen over time – it is not effective to raise issue with everything your housemate eats or does not eat.
- Spend time together after meals: This can reduce the anxiety your housemate is likely to be feeling.
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